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I know, I disappeared from you for a lllooonnnggg time, but with good reason!

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Day 1: Happy New Year!

I fear this will be a "picture-less" post,so I'll try to keep it short and sweet.

As I posted a few days ago, I have a goal of losing 40 lbs by May 7th, 2011 (this is the day Aaron and I leave for Disneyworld).  To help achieve that goal, Friday evening Aaron and I went to the gym and after dropping a small fortune, I now can officially say I have a Personal Trainer for the next 12 weeks.  I'll see him 3 times a week for those 12 weeks.  The nice thing is that he's certified in corrective exercise, so he will be able to help me strengthen my quadriceps and even further my recovery on my left knee.

I'll also be undergoing a "cardio point" test, which will measure my zone 1-5 heart rates, and we'll program those into my heart monitor.  This way I can effectively use my gym time to burn fat.  

Additionally, today marked my first "sugar free" day (and I'm feeling it)!  The first few "sugar free" days are always the hardest, but after about a week the cravings tend to subside. 

Not a whole lot to report, but figured I'd update you on my progress.  My first session with the PT is on Monday- I'm VERY excited!

::Waives:: Hello, anybody out there?

Oy, where has time gone?  I know it's been months since my last post- and I wish I could tell you that in that time I had done some new and amazing things- but alas, I have not.  I am however going to make a more conscious effort to start blogging again.  Mrs. Lindauer has inspired me to post some goals for 2011.  So, without further ado, here they are:

1) Drop 40lbs by May 7th, 2011.  That's right, I'm assigning a number, a date, all the things you maybe shouldn't do in weight loss goals.  But I don't care.  I need to put it out there, for all of you to know, to keep me accountable.  Dropping 40lbs will bring me about 10 lbs lower then my wedding weight.  Why May 7th?  That's the day we leave for Disneyworld and 1) it's a date to strive for and 2) I don't want to have to buy all new shorts for Florida (unless their to big).

2) Make/find (adoption people, I'm not going to steal an infant here!) a baby.  Come on, we're a beautiful family I know (that wasn't cocky), but an infant would add some pure cuteness, can't you see them in between Aaron and I, next to Miley:



3) Graduate with my degree (I should be done by October 2011!)

That's it, those are my goals this year.  3 simple goals for the entire year.  I have an amazing husband who's set me on the track of financial glory- so no real goals there.  I also have an amazing husband who loves me for me, and loves me in a way I'd never thought imaginable- so again, if I had any goals on that it would be that our love continue to grow and mature.

Arizona I quit you.

Let me be frank here.  I do not claim to be a Democrat, I do not claim to be a Republican.  In fact, my Maricopa County voting ID card states I am a registered Independent.  I'm a registered Independent because there are Republican ideologies and policies that I agree with and there are Democratic ideologies and policies that I agree with.  Therefore, I will only register to a party if I feel specifically so inclined to be able to vote in that parties primary because there is a candidate I hope to see succeed (yes, I am that big of a nerd).

Tonight however, I am disappointed in my fellow Arizona residents.  Tonight, like so many election nights in the past, voters in Arizona had a chance to make a difference and instead, they settled for status quo, not even promises of change.  In all of the campaigning this year, I heard nothing of things that our Governor, Congressmen, or Senators would do to make change for this state.  In fact, all I heard was mud slinging.  I heard of defaulted loans, broken promises, and other personal attacks, and little on why each candidate was qualified to do their job.

Tonight, my fellow citizens did exactly as they were told.  They kept individuals in office who have had YEARS and YEARS to make change and dig Arizona out of a hole, and instead, they rebelled, and voted for anything but a democrat, because Democrats want big government and that's bad.  This year, when Arizona voters went to the polls, they had one thought on their mind-  immigration.  And SB1070 would be repelled if a Democrat was elected.

Newsflash- SB1070 will go to the Supreme Court, and it will be repelled.  If you have to ask why, read recent Supreme Court case decisions.  A person can not immigrate to a state, and therefore a state does not have the ability to make an immigration policy.

This year, residents of Arizona should have focused on our failing education system (for those who aren't aware Arizona is now dead last in terms of education base lines across the country- that's right folks Alabama has even surpassed us).  This year, Arizona residents should have also been concerned about our failing economy built around new home build and real estate- in 2010, not as great of a plan as in 2005.... And yet, no one was campaigning or debating these facts.

I hate to break it to you folks, but Arizona was a tool this year.  That's right a tool.  The republican party used this state and Jan Brewer (why this woman thinks she has a future is beyond me- think Sarah Palin- she's a pawn).  They pushed 1070 to bring national attention to an issue that the "Big Government Washington Dem's" were failing at, to bring attention and bad light on them.

Well guess what folks- I hate to break it to you- but Obama's administration has been in office a whopping 2 years and immigration has been a HUGE issue for more then 2 years in this state... so for all of those people who feel that Obama is sucking it up at this issue- take a look in the mirror at former President George W. Bush, the all Republican Senate, and the all Republican House we had just a few short years ago- they sucked it up too.

My point?  What everyone seems to be forgetting during all this mud slinging on left vs. right, is that less then a decade ago, the entire country got so sick of of democrats, they voted in all republicans.  But guess what?  4 years later, they were sick of that, so they elected in a mixed house and senate with a republican President.  Then they were so sick of the republicans they ousted them all and put in all democrats.

Now mind you- again, I am a registered Independent.  I just get so sick of Republicans name calling Democrats and vice versa- because guess what, having all control under one party, is the quickest way to get yourself ousted from office- people get sick of it!

And voting for someone just because they're in you're party like a good ol' boys club- makes me ill.

I do give props to District 7 for ousting Harry Mitchell though, finally a group took a stand against someone who's again been in office for 40 years and made no significant changes for his peeps- and in comes a new guy promising change.  That my friends is Democracy at it's finest.

Aaron and I are now looking for a new home in one of the other 49 states in the union... Arizona, I quit you.

Where I've been...

I disappeared- again.  I know, I'm kinda into that lately.  I just wonder off leaving you with no clue or idea as to where I've gone.  I've just been so busy lately LIVING life that I've not really had the time to write about it. 

First off, I absolutely, 100%, COMPLETELY love my job.  Each and every day I love it more and more and am so incredibly grateful for the opportunity.  Second, I am a Zumba queen!  (not in the sense of being good at it, just in the sense of, I do it, a lot!)  Third, I'm finishing my degree, finally!  Ugh school is not fun at all, but it's getting done, just a short time until I have my Bachelors finished, then I'll tackle my masters! 

Now the big one.... Aaron and I have been praying very hard and have decided to seriously pursue adoption at this time.  We're not giving up on trying to have a biological child, we just feel that this is what God has placed on our hearts right now.  Originally we were only interested in international adoption, as domestic adoption had to many "what if's" and almost felt like a marketing campaign to me to be honest- trying to market yourself through pictures and words as the best possible home for a set of biological parents to place their child.  Aaron and I are so much more then just words and photo's.  However, with changes to our state Adoptions Laws, we may be more into considering domestic adoption from our home state.

So that's it... nothing to incredibly exciting.  We're just living our lives happily together.  We did just get back from Disneyland... pictures to come =)

The Things That Live Inside My Head

*Disclaimer:  These are things that have been living in my head for about a month now, and I need to get them out.  I've been hesitant to do so, in fear that it may offend some people.  If one of these comments was made by you, please do not take this as my passive aggressive way to convey it to you, and please understand I just need to get it out of my head, this is not about you I promise.

It's been a while since I posted about the frustrations of trying to expand our family.  I can honestly say that I feel this has been a lesson in humility from the Lord.  There is so much that I have learned from this process.  Here's my example: A few months ago I was at a gathering, in which another young woman was asked by someone whom having a child had come easy, "How come you don't have kids yet".  This was done in a very kind and kidding manner, but I saw "the look".  Anyone who's been there knows the look because its flashed on your very own face a million times.  The woman politely responded that"it just wasn't time yet", but I knew otherwise.  It's a look that bonds women of any ethnicity, religion, and social background.

My lesson has come from understanding that some of the most innocent questions or comments can cause quite a bit of pain to someone else when you don't understand their situation.  Please, please do not take this the wrong way, I do not expect anyone to filter out a conversation because of my fertility issues.  (again, read above, this is my rant, nothing more).  But for me, it's made me aware of the things I'm saying (not just about babies- anything that has come to me and given me success) as you never know the situation that someone else is in. 

For example, here's a totally harmless quote that I heard last month, "she's probably my only chance to be an uncle."  The statement as it said was completely kind and actually loving.  However to me, it was a dagger in the heart.  To me it was a write off of the possibility that I could EVER have a child of my own for this person to consider his niece or nephew.  (again, please see my disclaimer).  It honestly killed me and I had to step away.

Now I understand this is all about how I take it, and how I allow my emotions to flow, and understand I am working very hard on this, and think I've gotten better, but that comment has honestly eaten away at me daily since I heard it- and I just had to get it out of my head so it would stop.

Please don't take this for more then it is.  I am completely happy with where we are at in trying to expand our family.  I am beyond thrilled for everyone in my life who has lately found out they are expecting (there is not a limited supply of babies!) and if anything it gives me hope that ours is coming!  This is quite simply my rant to get something out of my head so that I can focus on other non-emotional stupid things.