Trying to Conceive. It sounds like it should be such a wonderful and happy statement.
We're not necessarily *TRYING* to conceive like religiously- but we're not avoiding it either. I've started doing all the things your suppose to do: taking prenatal vitamins, drinking 64+oz of water a day, exercising (again, this I need to do regardless), I haven't had alcohol in months.... I mean you name it, I've done it. We've read, "What to expect before your expecting"... we're ready, but again not religiously trying.
I'm so afraid. I guess I though that once I stopped using contraception, I'd magically get pregnant- well that time has come, and gone. So now what happens? Yes, like I get it, my body is still adjusting, we're trying to figure out how exactly this whole monthly cycle works without hormones directing you where to go and what to do- it's a whole new venture, but it's still scary.
What if- we can't get pregnant? How can something that seems SO simple be SO scary. I've spent my whole life avoiding the one thing that I now want- I know how to *NOT* get pregnant, but how do you *GET* pregnant (okay, I get HOW a baby is made, my parents DID have that talk with me).
I know I shouldn't worry about that, and "when it's meant to be it will be"... but there's that voice in the back of my head that says, "what if I can't get pregnant" then what?
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
My Amazing Husband
This past week has been really stressful for me- well let me back up, this past month has really been quite stressful. Work is good, but it's very busy. We're being challenged each and every day- which while I love a challenge is well, just that. I'm pushing myself to greater lengths then I could have ever imagined, but it all comes with a toll. Additionally, I've been traveling quite a bit this month which always takes a toll on me.
To top this week off, on Monday, we had to put Honey done. While it was the right thing to do, it was still very challenging. On top of that, I've been stressing big time about how exactly it will work out when we're ready to start trying for babies- after taking contraception so long, my bodies having some problems figuring itself out.
So after a very long day at work on Tuesday, I called Aaron to let him know I was on my way home around 7:30pm. He asked if I wanted to go out to dinner, to which I said, "honestly no, I'm tired". He sounded really disappointed so I asked if he was near my office, and he was about 2 blocks away, so OF COURSE I had to meet him for dinner. We agreed to meet at Scottsdale Fashion Square to have dinner at Paradise Bakery- my favorite!
Well, as soon as he shows up he has a big Crate and Barrel bag! After we eat, he asks if I want my special present to which I said- I'd rather wait until we get home. Well once we got home, I got to open my present! He had purchased me the place mats I wanted for our new dining room table! I was so excited, until he said, wait I have one more for you- and he pulled out a bag I was very familiar with- a Brighton bag!! I knew exactly what it was, the weekend before we had been in Brighton purchasing my mom's Breast Cancer Bracelet (it's become a tradition for me to get it for her every year) and I commented on how much I liked it and wanted one of my own.
I opened the bag and there it was, I adore this years bracelet. The heart actually opens and on one side says, "trust in your journey" and the other says, "Everything is possible". It is so special to me to know my mom and I both have them- we wear them often but especially on challenging days, it's our way of knowing we're always with each other.
I was so excited I didn't even realize there was another charm on the bracelet! Can you see it?
It says, "Mom"! At first I thought he put this on there because my mom has the same bracelet, which I thought was adorable, but then he tells me that he wanted me to know that regardless of how it happens (though we're both not anywhere near giving up on having a baby as we've not even started trying, I'm just OCD paranoid) he can't wait for our family to grow, and to see me as a Mom, and he never wants me to give up hope on my dream- it was his promise that I would be a Mom no matter what. I had tears in my eyes at this point.
I wear this bracelet, with my "mom" charm daily as a reminder of my dream, and to remind me to keep my faith, as God has a plan for our family.
Aaron- you really are the most amazing man on the planet, and I'm still not sure how exactly I ended up having the privilege of being your wife. My love for you grows deeper and deeper each and every day. I love you!
To top this week off, on Monday, we had to put Honey done. While it was the right thing to do, it was still very challenging. On top of that, I've been stressing big time about how exactly it will work out when we're ready to start trying for babies- after taking contraception so long, my bodies having some problems figuring itself out.
So after a very long day at work on Tuesday, I called Aaron to let him know I was on my way home around 7:30pm. He asked if I wanted to go out to dinner, to which I said, "honestly no, I'm tired". He sounded really disappointed so I asked if he was near my office, and he was about 2 blocks away, so OF COURSE I had to meet him for dinner. We agreed to meet at Scottsdale Fashion Square to have dinner at Paradise Bakery- my favorite!
Well, as soon as he shows up he has a big Crate and Barrel bag! After we eat, he asks if I want my special present to which I said- I'd rather wait until we get home. Well once we got home, I got to open my present! He had purchased me the place mats I wanted for our new dining room table! I was so excited, until he said, wait I have one more for you- and he pulled out a bag I was very familiar with- a Brighton bag!! I knew exactly what it was, the weekend before we had been in Brighton purchasing my mom's Breast Cancer Bracelet (it's become a tradition for me to get it for her every year) and I commented on how much I liked it and wanted one of my own.
I opened the bag and there it was, I adore this years bracelet. The heart actually opens and on one side says, "trust in your journey" and the other says, "Everything is possible". It is so special to me to know my mom and I both have them- we wear them often but especially on challenging days, it's our way of knowing we're always with each other.
I was so excited I didn't even realize there was another charm on the bracelet! Can you see it?
It says, "Mom"! At first I thought he put this on there because my mom has the same bracelet, which I thought was adorable, but then he tells me that he wanted me to know that regardless of how it happens (though we're both not anywhere near giving up on having a baby as we've not even started trying, I'm just OCD paranoid) he can't wait for our family to grow, and to see me as a Mom, and he never wants me to give up hope on my dream- it was his promise that I would be a Mom no matter what. I had tears in my eyes at this point.
I wear this bracelet, with my "mom" charm daily as a reminder of my dream, and to remind me to keep my faith, as God has a plan for our family.
Aaron- you really are the most amazing man on the planet, and I'm still not sure how exactly I ended up having the privilege of being your wife. My love for you grows deeper and deeper each and every day. I love you!
Princess Honey
On September 28th, 2009 our dear "Princess Honey" left this earth. Honey had been suffering from cancer which had infiltrated her entire body.
I remember the day we first met Honey. We were at my mom's best friends home, and her dog had just given birth. Honey was one of two golden pups in the litter, and in my opinion the prettiest. She had long golden hair, and was just the sweetest thing you could imagine, this was in February of 1999. In March of 2009, after convincing my parents that my sister and I really did need another dog, Honey came home with us.
She instantly became a member of our family. Honey LOVED McDonalds French Fries, belly rubs, and most of all- being outside. She loved her family very much and was a wonderful protector.
Honey was also one of the most photogenic dogs you could find. She adored being with people she loved (though she was protective of them, and often couldn't go out in public to much as she would growl at people who got near her "person".)
After her quality of life started to deteriorate from the cancer, we realized the only thing we could do to take care of our honey- was to put her down. Both my dad and I laid with her until she passed, assuring her of what a good dog she was, and how much she was loved.
We all miss her deeply, but know she's in a better place, looking over all of us.
We miss you honey-bunny!
I remember the day we first met Honey. We were at my mom's best friends home, and her dog had just given birth. Honey was one of two golden pups in the litter, and in my opinion the prettiest. She had long golden hair, and was just the sweetest thing you could imagine, this was in February of 1999. In March of 2009, after convincing my parents that my sister and I really did need another dog, Honey came home with us.
She instantly became a member of our family. Honey LOVED McDonalds French Fries, belly rubs, and most of all- being outside. She loved her family very much and was a wonderful protector.
Honey was also one of the most photogenic dogs you could find. She adored being with people she loved (though she was protective of them, and often couldn't go out in public to much as she would growl at people who got near her "person".) 
After her quality of life started to deteriorate from the cancer, we realized the only thing we could do to take care of our honey- was to put her down. Both my dad and I laid with her until she passed, assuring her of what a good dog she was, and how much she was loved.We all miss her deeply, but know she's in a better place, looking over all of us.
We miss you honey-bunny!
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