Tuesday, September 7, 2010

30 Days of Truth: Day 1

Okay, so my 30 days of "getting to know me" was an epic fail.  I admit it.  Thus why I'm starting over, with "30 days of truth".  I found it through my good friends Vanessa (The Life of NesJas) and Jess (Momma V).

Day 1: One Thing You Hate About Yourself

Wow, let's go ahead and get right into it then huh?  Let's see... what do I hate about me.  Simple.  I hate my ovaries.  I could say that I hate my weight, which while my weight has troubled me my whole life, honestly, it doesn't "bother" me I guess.  I'm still incredibly active doing Zumba and such, and thankful for that.  I'd love to lose weight, but my motives for losing weight aren't for physical beauty, it's for my damn ovaries.

I hate my ovaries.  I hate that they are a host to tons of tiny cyst's that keep them from producing the hormones needed to procreate.  I hate that they allow these cyst's to play "house guest" producing excess testosterone which gives me facial hair, acne, and other undesirable characteristics.  I hate that my ovaries can't do the one simple function they were placed in my body to do- mature an egg ready for fertilization so that I could be a mom.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think it would take medical intervention for me to be a parent.

Hating your body for it's internal parts is quite an internal conflict.  They're my ovaries- no one is going to give me an ovarian transplant, but at the same time, they're the leading cause to my inability to do the one thing a woman is designed to do- procreate.  My ovaries cause me to fail at being a woman.  There's nothing more I hate about myself then that.




3 comments:

Momma V said...

Ima come over there and have a talk or two to your lady bits Jenn!

It'll happen, I promise!!

Vanessa said...

Lol at Jess. But it will happen, I see you as a wonderfil Mom. I cant wait to see it happen.

Sharon said...

Love you!

Lots of hugs to you. I'm sorry you are going through this, and I know parenthood will absolutely happen for you and Aaron, and you will be wonderful parents when it does. But I hate that all of this pain, frustration, and heartache stand in the way first. =(